Congress sees the Light over Bulb Ban

By Howie Carr

The forces of of science and rationalism won a big victory in Congress this week over superstition and religious intolerence, but somehow I doubt the American Civil Liberties Union is celebrating. Here's the headline: "Congress overturns incandescent light bulb ban."

That's right. The ban on 100-watt incandescent Thomas Edison light bulbs, which was supposed to begin January 1st, was put off. Congress has denied the green fundamentalists any funds to impose their eco-sharia law on the rest of us infidels who have figured out that global warming is a scam, or should I say false religion. Is that blasphemy, what I just said? Am I a denier? It's certainly lese majeste, because the ruling classes, Republican and Democrat alike, have embraced this this strange cult.

You can see the fanatical true believers engaged in their bizarre rituals, sorting out their trash and depositing each type at a different altar in the suburban landfills - a different one for cardboard and newsprint and green glass bottles and clear bottles and tin cans and aluminum cans. Like all new cults, the Greens have zero tolerance for the older religions. Just because they believe in global warming , it must be true, and therefore anyone who opposes them is an infidel who must be shunned. They have their own Book of Revelation - the movie "An Inconvenient Truth."

Alas, the inconvenient truth is that the date of the apocalypse keeps getting moved back. Temperatures aren't rising, theyr'e falling, thus the now-famous memo from alleged scientists (actually high priests) about "hiding the decline" in global temperatures. Archbishop Barack Obama,who in 2008 predicted tht his nomination would be the day the sea levels stopped rising, now admits he can't control the weather. Well, even St. Augustine was plagued by doubts. What's ironic about the Church of Green is that these are the same people who want government out of their bedroom, or their uteruses, now want government in your light socket, or your toilet.

As late as the 1960's, Roman Cahtolics were forbidden to eat meat on Fridays. It was a mortal sin - an express ticket to hell - to enjoy a cheeseburger or a pepperoni pizza. Yet, no Catholic pol would have ever dreamed of filing legislation to ban everyone from eating meat on Friday. But the shock troops of this new religion have no such qualms. First they came for your toilets that flushed, next they came for your incandescent light bulbs. Whatever happened to the old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?" Or the Hippocratic oath: "First, do no harm." Stopping the light bulb ban, at least temporarily, was a small victory for us nonbelievers. At least we have something to be thankful for this Christmas, or, as the Greens describe this season, "the winter solstice."